The Permission Proclamation

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the tasks you’ve set yourself, but when your ambitions and end goal have more in relation to a marathon than a sprint, it becomes imperative to give yourself ample time to disconnect and relax both body and mind.

Remembering to do so is half the struggle.

This ‘disconnect’ can look like a number of different things: reading, watching a movie/catching up on that series, baking — even tackling the housework that has somehow turned from a cute little molehill into a death-defying mountain of unclean laundry.

The tricky second half?

Actually allowing yourself to.

In the past few months, I’ve been writing down all the things I need to do into an awesome (Slytherin) notebook. However, what began as a means to declutter my mind quickly became a never-ending list of tasks that began to feel insurmountable.

Those things I had jotted down but hadn’t yet completed? Guilt.

The growing new additions to the list? Yeah, guilt.

Occasionally writing something down only to realise, days later, that I’ve de-prioritised it to the point it was somewhat forgotten, like the rest of a red pepper you promised yourself you’d use? Bingo. Guilt, only this time with a garnish of self-loathing and a gross soft pepper to throw in the trash.

Despite the amount I had crossed off, the list had a way of highlighting failures. I only saw the things I hadn’t done without reflecting on all that I had.

I couldn’t see the wood for the trees.

Where's The Wood? All I See Are These Stupid Trees.

Creating a list is a great idea. It undoubtedly helped in making sense of the tangled mess of thoughts and plans inside my mindgrapes. Prior to making notes, giving them life through a pen to paper to clear a messy headspace, I was trusting I would remember a hundred different little things.

Needless to say, I couldn’t.

I, like most people, just couldn’t hold onto that amount of disjointed information, which is why it’s important to flick through and recognise all the items that have been crossed out, to reflect on the pages that have been completed, as opposed to obsessing on all yet to be done.

Even more important is the need to disconnect.

If all you do is add to your list forever, you’ll never take the time to embrace the things you love. The things that fuel and inspire you. You’ll become so focused and obsessed with ticking things off, you’ll forget about connecting with the things that spark joy, only caring about moving onto the next task on a list that, in theory, has no end. Next thing you know, you've spent seven hours in front of a screen for the sixth day in a row.

That’s why I have set myself a personal goal — one not noted down into the notebook, incidentally — to disconnect when I reach a set milestone with my list.

Once there, I will permit myself to disconnect.

“Work has been done,” I will remind myself. “I have earned a right to relax without guilt.”

The Grind Of Embracing The Grind

Grinding for our goals and ambitions is an inevitable part of the journey towards an end goal.

The mindset to never stop working, however, to continuously ‘go, go, go’ to achieve ‘success,’ is forced upon us in our day-to-day.

"The agenda is clear: You're a failure because you're not working harder."

Media, advertising — the mentality is as inspiring as it is tiring, presented as an enviable trait, ignoring the physically and mentally draining side effects. Even the time you wake at supposedly relates to your success rate and drive. (Hint: It’s an un-Godly hour. Spoiler: It’s 4 AM)

The agenda is clear: You’re a failure because you’re not working harder. You’re a fraud, undeserving of success because you allowed yourself to…*GASP, FAINT*…unplug for a bit.

A person is liable to exhaust themselves if they never give themselves the opportunity to embrace rest, to relax their mind, and to step away.

You, too, will be unable to see the wood for the trees.

Besides, the list will still be there when you return to it and, hopefully, that time away from writing, researching, applying for work, drawing, may allow you to tackle obstacles with fresh eyes and a different perspective. It may also highlight just how much has been accomplished.

It’s not about unplugging to be lazy and procrastinate, it’s about stepping away for a while to allow self-care, coming back with renewed energy.

So, if you happen to be reading this and are in a similar situation, do the same. Look at that list (whether it’s proverbial or literal) and set a suitable ‘milestone.’

Once there, disconnect. Play that game you’ve put off for months, read a comic book, maybe even go out for a walk and take in some fresh air with a podcast to keep you company.

Give yourself guilt-free permission.

Go on, you earned it.