Change is terrifying.
The strength of will, the semblance of courage, and resolute conviction it takes to force change into one's life, breaking the super fluffy, couch comfy status quo and unshackling yourself from all that you know, ready to embrace the uncertain future takes guts, determination, perseverance.
This kind of decision also undeniably straddles the fine line between bravery and stupidity.
And so I find myself in a new chapter of my life - one that brings with it a nice new website and a new blog platform. Don't worry, the entire history will still be there in case you ever want to hit 88 MPH and traverse the archives to thread together my journey so far.
The last two ('Wary Jubiliation' and 'Invisible Influence') are particularly resonant given their subject matter.
This kind of decision also undeniably straddles the fine line between bravery and stupidity.
When I first decided to start charting my process by highlighting all the wins and losses that comprise my current writing journey - taking in the frustrations, jubilations, querying, rejections before finding successful representation and publication (the last point is still TBD. Bureaucracy, ammiright?!) - it was done with the intention of only updating with pertinent news and updates that I wanted to journal, whether that revolved around writing or major life events and my travels.
So here we are on a sparkly new site, using a new platform. Isn't it pretty? It's okay to ogle a bit, I don't blame you.
Major change is inherently intimidating. Mustard instead of ketchup, leaving the job you've been treading water in for over eight years, moving from Wordspace to another blogging platform, or being forced to have Pepsi because the restaurant doesn't stock Coca-Cola.
Yep. Major changes.
Wait, what was that second one again?
It's true.
The purgatory has ended. It's done. It's over.
I won't go into the finer, uglier details (of which there are plenty), but needless to say, I found myself in a no-win situation.
In brief: I returned from an excursion to another store (which was a fantastic experience) and quickly found myself existing in my own personal darkest timeline as soon as I returned to my 'home' store.
No room for progression, no opportunities, frequently undermined, overlooked and disrespected by people who should be endeavouring to lead by example, and having to deliver eight hours of continuous appointments every day led to a clear emotional conclusion: I was done.
Honestly? It's been a long time coming. Mine was the proverbial death by a (hundred) thousand cuts, and after eight-plus years, I have barely any positive things to say about the people who were meant to be leading the charge and supporting me.
When a workplace ends up having such a massive, immediately evident impact on a person's mental health, triggering anxiety that had never been present before, it becomes clear that something needed to be done, if only for the sake of their self-worth and mental health.
It took me a long time to commit to what I know my heart wanted oh-so-long-ago, but here I am on the cusp of something new and unknown, filled with the anticipation that comes with adventure.
Steve Russell
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